Summer Update, or The Art of Absorbing

Hi there - it’s been a while, so I thought I’d share a little update on what I’ve been up to.

In a word: Absorbing.

If you see life as a process of continual renewal - and I do - then you’ve noticed this cycle. 

It starts with openness and curiosity.

Then comes the soaking-it-all-in phase: collecting, sorting, noticing patterns.

Eventually, you gain new insights, and you start sharing them, which gives you more and more clarity.

And then it’s time to start all over again.

I’m in that middle place right now. The absorbing place.

Gathering. Exploring. Trusting that insight will come.

Letting it all land.

When I first began this newsletter, it felt urgent.

There were hard-won truths I had to share - things I needed reminding of, and I thought you might too.

I could keep saying those same things in new ways forever. They’re important. I still need reminding of them today, and maybe you do too.

But I’m just not wired like that.

Once I understand something, I’m ready for what’s next.

Lately, “what’s next” has meant stepping into couples therapy work, connecting with abstract artists in Corvallis, exploring the art scene in Portland, and slowly building relationships there.

In fact, I’ve been spending more and more time in Portland.

I’m not moving there (yet), but I feel the pull.

I’m playing with the idea. I’m trying to be okay with not knowing. Even savoring the not knowing. 

It feels so different from what I’ve done before. The moves I’ve made, across oceans, across states, in the middle of big life transitions.

There’s always been so much urgency behind it. The pressure to just make it. To keep everyone clothed and fed and moderately content. And even when I started moving toward a kinder, more gentle life, I felt pressure. 

“Breathe!”

“Allow!”

“Let go!”

“Be gentle!”

It’s hard to let go of the habit of pushing and performing. 

There are many, many, many layers to living more kindly and gently. 

Right now, I guess what I'm saying is that I’m letting myself be where I am. 

I’m letting myself listen, learn, absorb.

With a kindness that’s more quiet and patient.

I trust that it matters, even if there’s nothing shiny to show for it.